Photo by Waymon Mattison Jr
Yesterday, I had a conversation with a good friend who is in a tough situation. He asked me what I thought he should do, and I’d love to extend the question to you.
THE SCENARIO: My good friend is a part of a church plant in a small, academic college town in the Northeast. As a highly gifted worship leader, he has been a part of a number of new churches in the past. And so when a young church planter who felt called by God to plant a church moved into the community, my good friend immediately connected with him and volunteered to help in whatever way he could.
The planter is a good man. He may not have some of the outward charismatic gifts that one might normally associate with a church planting pastor, and he may struggle at times relationally, but he is a man of character who has risked and invested much to see this church become a reality. After moving to town, the church planter bought a storefront in town with his own money, and has been working to remodel the space as the home of the future new church ever since.
During this time, the core team has been meeting weekly for a time of teaching and worship in one of their homes. Up until now, the plan has been to grow in relationship with one another and to grow their team as they function more and more like a church and prepare to one day move into their storefront space. This has been going on for most of 2 years.
So, what’s the problem?
After 2 years, the team consists of just three couples…that is, 6 PEOPLE. By anyone’s standards, that is a slow start. Worst of all, aside from a little more drywall getting done and some occasional paint here and there, there is no sign of forward movement or change. New relationships aren’t being initiated. No evangelism. No fresh move of the spirit. No discernable life change. And despite a conversation about concerns here and there amongst the planter and my friend, there is no sign of anything changing.
In the meantime, there is another church in town where God is doing some neat things. They started an alternative service fairly recently where a new community is forming that is focusing its efforts on reaching the local college community. My good friend has become close with a couple key leaders at the church and they have expressed a need they have for someone to lead worship for this alternative service, and have personally asked my friend to consider stepping into that role.
He is really torn. He and his wife have grown in frustration over the past 2 years. His wife is ready to call it and move on with their lives, and if he is really honest, he’s getting there. But he cares about this church planter. He recognizes the sacrifice he has made to plant this church, he recognizes the planter’s sincere heart for God, but he seriously questions whether the planter is gifted to do it. If he leaves, the planter will essentially be losing both his music leader and 1/3 of his church.
As someone who was the pastor of a “failing” church. (people tried to soften reality by not using the word “fail” but that’s what it was… with the exception of all the good that happened… but I digress.) I’ll just say this, “the wounds of a friend can be trusted.” Proverbs x:yy
Wrap this guy in bubble wrap, and throw him off a cliff. Blow the “church” up. Love him, take away his shoe laces, surround him with grace and mercy, and tell him how it is. HE WILL BE SO MUCH BETTER FOR IT. And so will everyone he impacts in the future when he is functioning in his gifts. Maybe he should be a traditional pastor and help a traditional church become more missional, maybe he should be an artist, or maybe, God forbid, he should become a lawyer. (ok, not a lawyer, they are all going to hell.) (I’m in law school people, relax, it was a joke.)But whatever it is that makes him tick, he needs loving people to help him get in touch with his gifts and God’s calling on his life.
As one of my evangelism/church planting proffs at Fuller put it, we need church planters, but we also need church undertakers. And the fact is, we probably need more of the latter.
Hey David, I really appreciate your insight, in particular, to this situation. In many respects, you’ve been there, done that, and it’s great to hear what you’d have him do. Based on what my friend has told me, it sounds like this guy has the heart of a pastor, but perhaps not the gifting to church plant. There are so many different ways he could use his gifts and, like you, I suggested that perhaps he is more suited to pastor an established church and lead it into new ground. I love the insight from your prof at Fuller. As I look around our city, in particular, the need for more church undertakers in blindingly clear.
Thanks for the encouragement Aaron. How do we square our observation for the need for church undertakers with a humble outlook. Who are we to say what should and should not happen? Is it just all economics? That is, if the bills are paid then it’s all good? I don’t think so, but again, who is to say?
That church planting proff, (his name is Eddie Gibbs by the way, he’s written some good books) he made the observation that in many cases, if a church ministered where there money came from, they would spend most of their time in the graveyard. Which is to say, they were running on the bequests of large sums of money from people’s will’s and after the people were gone.
He was looking at if from a strategic denominational perspective. The dead churches had the money in the banks, and were just living on interest, while the church planters were getting it done on fumes, innovating with what they had.
That said, while true in some cases, that might be more of a caricature of churches whose style some of us just don’t like, and who are actually doing a lot of good stuff. I mean, people like you and I have a horse in the race. Of course we think we could do a better job if we had access to those type of funds. Were not exactly objective. Hell, maybe being short on funds (but not too short) is a good thing, in as much as it forces you to be innovative. What do they say, necessity is the mother of invention?
So more specifically, the worship leader, he should not just leave. He should lead change. He should man up, and take care of his friend by telling him the truth.
Shifting Gears, Thinking critically.
What is church? The pastor and his worship leader need to have that strait, not by someone elses definition, but in there own understanding and before an awesome God. No one else can define failure and direction for them. (What I just said not withstanding.) If they are going to define church in a small intamate way, then the next question is, is it sustainable and is it life giving. The truth is, I would not have a problem with 6-8 couples living in intentional community, and calling that church… if it was life giving and not life sucking. Which according to the worship leader’s wife’s assesment, it aint.
Ok, I’m done, no one actually cares what I think, and I really need to get back to studying the ins and outs of Tort law. Why do I run my mouth/fingers? ; )
I agree. I think just leaving is the easy way out and not mutually edifying in any way. But to do the hard work of having that hard conversation in love, and with prayer. Neither my friend or I have a problem with calling 6-8 couples living in intentional community a church, as long as they are on mission together. (He and I actually led a house church together in the past.) But it sounds like there is a lot more going on (or not going on) than that. Good luck with that Tort law!
I agree with David. I have seen too many examples of a “good” man busting his tail with little to no results. Church planting is tough enough to go it without the gifts/chemistry/etc. that is needed. Your buddy’s wife has already picked up on the reality of the situation, that is discerning. It’s a tough call but if both guys are in this for the kingdom and not simply because they like each other, they will survive the next step. Too me, it’s a no brainer, go with where God is working. If there is any way to wed the two (facility, staff, etc. or combination thereof) better yet, but not required.
Hey Bruce, thanks for your insight. In your role working with planters, I know you’ve seen a number of scenarios with a number of guys and so it is good to hear your thoughts on this. I agree with you that if there was a way to wed the two works and see them work together, that would be really cool to see. Of course, as you know, there is a lot contingent on the leadership of both churches and their willingness and ability to work together, but from what I know of the situation, it is not outside the realm of possibility.