Alright, I know, it has been way too long since my last post. However, in light of recent developments, I have really needed some time away with my thoughts. Here’s an excerpt from an email I sent out today to my prayer team…
"A few weeks ago we met as a launch team in our future
gathering place to practice setting the room up and to pray over it together.
But what should have been a fun and exciting time of preparation was very
disconcerting and spiritually unsettling. Whether it was me, the team, the
location, the timing, or something else, I knew that something felt off…really off. So I began seeking hard after the heart of God. I
specifically asked God to direct our steps and give us clarity in to what He
wanted us to do.
I really don’t want to go in to all the details, but to make
a long story short; we are putting the brakes on Kineo. I don’t understand it.
I don’t like it. I don’t want to do it. But after much prayer and some real
affirmation, this is what we strongly sense God calling us to do. It has been a
very difficult, confusing and frustrating realization to come to. I feel like
God led me down a path only to slam the door shut. I feel like God
gave me a vision and called me to commit my life to seeing it realized…and now,
after pouring my heart and soul into it, He has called me to surrender it.
I am thankful that
it has not been a desert experience, thankful that God is close and that He continues
to direct my steps; but in fervently asking God to lead me, I now find myself
following Him to a place I do not really want to go. I sense that I follow Him
now in to a season of preparation and waiting.
One of the stories that has continued to echo in my heart
and mind through all of this is the story of David, who was anointed to be the
next king of Israel as just a teenager, but who didn’t actually see that
realized until he was 30 years old. I feel that my heart for and call to church
planting has been fueled and affirmed through all of this. But like David, I
feel like I now enter in to a season of preparation and waiting. At least for
now, I sense that God has closed the door…and I am completely in the dark as for
For the time being, those of us involved with Kineo are
planning on continuing to meet on Sunday nights and living life alongside one
another. On a personal note, I have taken a new job working overnights at the
People City Mission. I will also be continuing to serve at RiverTree part time
while continuing my studies. The last few weeks have been very difficult,
emotionally exhausting, confusing, and heart wrenching. I would sure appreciate
your prayers as I am currently going through somewhat of a grieving process.
I love you and thank you so much for your prayers through
all of this. As much as I don’t understand it all, I have sensed God’s
continued presence and leading in all of this. So thank you."