Hey friends, I want to share a video with you about something that has deeply impacted my life and leadership. I have posted about Rhythm before, but this video shares more about the vision behind it and its impact on me and a few others. The video is kind of long, but if you have the time, you’ll get to hear from some very good friends of mine. (For those interested, I share about some of my own journey at about 5:25). Enjoy.
Today I want to continue the conversation we began a couple weeks ago about the big “P” word: pornography. Porn is a booming, multibillion dollar industry that continues to grow in both scope and accessibility with personal technology. It’s big money, and for scores of men and their families, it’s big trouble. Millions of men have fallen victim to addiction, with some sources suggesting as many as 90% of men struggling with pornography in some capacity.
Today I want to talk about kicking this addiction once and for all. The truth is, pornography is something you can subtley find your way into, but for men, it is not something you can subtley get out of. It needs to be rooted out with tenacity. No more pussy footing around. No more frolicking through the field of personal indulgement at the expense of your family and health. Dig your cleats in and resolve to do what it’ll take to finally become the man or woman you were created to be. Here are 4 practical steps to finally begin to move towards healing and freedom in this area: Continue Reading…
Alright, so I am going to put aside the porn talk one more time because there is something I really want to tell you about before it’s too late. For the past couple years, I have been a part of something that has profoundly shaped the way that I live, the way that I lead, and the way that I pastor. It is called RHYTHMinTWENTY. Continue Reading…
Father’s Day is this Sunday, so while I promise to wrap up our conversation around kicking porn, I wanted to take a minute a few days out to honor the fathers. For those looking for fresh material, ideas, or just a good story, here are some videos in honor of all the dads out there.
I also love this version of the “Team Hoyt” story, set to Sigur Ros. One idea for pastors would be to show this version and introduce or unpack the story themselves, allowing them to better connect it to what they are talking about. Continue Reading…
Right now I am reading the book "Church Planter: The Man, the Message, the Mission" by Darrin Patrick, pastor of The Journey in St. Louis. The book is excellent and I can't recommend it highly enough to every man who desires to step up and become a leader in his family and church, and particularly to anyone considering church planting in the future. For more, check out the video below.
It has been a week since I became a dad and just about 4 days since we came home with our new daughter. She is perfect. Absolutely gorgeous. Well-tempered. Hardly ever cries. Is a good eater. And she is healthy (thank you, Lord)… Despite our continued efforts to get comfortable with suddenly being responsible for a human life, and our failed attempts to find a rhythm that works amidst the busy days and sleepless nights, all is good. And we have a lot to be thankful for.
But Megan can tell that I am getting antsy. My mind is racing my heart in a race without pit stops. I’ve got a lot to do for Kineo to be ready to launch in a month. Logistical stuff. Financial stuff. Ministry stuff. Team stuff. Personal stuff. I need to be getting up early and staying up late. I can’t afford to take a day off at this point…
You sensing any red flags yet? Yea, me too. For the record, I always seem to fall into this pattern of lifestyle. I am, in many ways, your typical Type A personality. I love to work, and I love to work hard. I love to be busy. I naturally set high goals for myself and tirelessly strive to achieve them. I like things done well. And I’m your textbook perfectionist… A lot of potential for the kingdom. And lot of potential for a serious train wreck.
Yesterday I noticed the sadness in Megan’s eyes. She told me that she could tell that I was really stressed about not being able to work for the last week. And with sympathy, she told me that she was really sorry for that. It was at this moment that the truth hit me like a ton of bricks: my wife is apologizing to me because I had to take time off of work to be with and take care of her and my new daughter? That’s fubar.
I sat down next to my wonderful wife, looked deeply into her eyes, and told her that I was so sorry that she felt the need to apologize for what has been the best week of my life. I went on to apologize for what that reveals about my own issue of being a workaholic. I told her how much I loved her and our new daughter. And I told her that she needs to know that the two girls sitting next to me on this couch are my first priority; and my first ministry. As a husband, I am called to love my wife as Christ loved the church – who, by the way, laid down his life for her. As a father, I am called to take care of the needs of my children and to lead them spiritually. If I fail to love and serve and lead at home, I am neglecting my most important call; and any other ministry I pursue is in vain and doomed for failure by my own hypocrisy. I begged her to call me out if I ever put ministry before family again.
She agreed. I have been blessed to have a wife who continually gives me grace that I don’t deserve. But I feel that yesterday was much more than just another time that i needed to admit that I was wrong and ask for forgiveness. It was a warning sign. It was a fork in the road. It was time for me to recognize some things and commit to being the father and husband that my family needs.
Lord, forgive me for being a jerk. Help me to be a Godly husband for my wife and a Godly father for my daughter. Help me to love my girls as you’ve call me to. Help me to love them as you love them.